Men and Change...

Why is it that after you've been with a man for so long they change? They get comfortable and they stop doing the sweet little things that attracted you to them in the first place. It's like they think since they already have you, they don't have to try anymore. The chase is over, they won, game over. Gone are the days of opening your door or holding your hand, except when there's somebody else in the car. They stop listening. They may hear you and acknowledge things you say, but they no longer retain the information. Then later on they make you feel like you're crazy cause they have no idea what you're talking about. You go out for a date night and they stop having conversation with the meal. You go out as a group to a bar or a club and they stop paying much attention to you. People end up assuming that one of the other guys in the group is your boyfriend because they actually pay attention. You start questioning yourself. Wondering what it is that you're doing wrong. What you're doing to make them change. Old insecurities start surfacing more often. You get depressed, you get anxious, you start to fall apart. Others start fulfilling the emotional needs that your man no longer fills. Then this leads to other problems. You wonder if you're really supposed to be in that relationship. You wonder if you've made a mistake, moved too quickly. You wonder what it would be like with somebody else. Then you figure why the hell even bother with wondering because they are all the same. They will all change eventually no matter how sweet they start out. It ends up as you've made your bed now you'll lay in it. Which just leads to more confusion and insecurity...

Spoiled with Baked Goods

I'm not sure if they know this or not, but my family is so spoiled. And that includes their class mates, teachers and co-workers. Every Wednesday I cook or bake something for Josh to take to class with him. Evidently they look forward to it so much that they occasionally mix up the days and end up disappointed on Tuesdays. Since it's almost Christmas I decided to make buckeyes, which these deprived Arizona people knew nothing about, and sugar cookies and peanut butter cookies with either Hershey kisses or mini m&m's in them. These got sent with Josh to class, with Lexi for her band and color guard class, with Holly for her three teachers, with Hunter for his teacher, to Josh's co-workers at his second job, with Dani for her co-workers, to friends for Thanksgiving plus our household still had plenty of them to devour. And as I type this I just got a text from Lexi asking me to make something for her class on Monday along with a reminder to make brownies for Josh's pot luck at school. Can you say spoiled! All of it was pretty easy to make just very time consuming. Hmm maybe this is why I can't ever get caught up on the laundry...

This is 1 of 4 batches of buckeyes

I think I made like 10 cookie sheets of these cookies

What is this blog about...

Honestly, I have no clear idea what this blog is about. I know what I am and what I do, but I'm still learning who I am. Outside of my kids and family, who am I? What do I want, enjoy and believe in? What do I stand for? When my kids are grown and getting on with their own lives, what will I do with the rest of mine? I've had other blogs, a couple that I still maintain even, but I want this one to be different. A place where people, or most at least, don't know me. Somewhere that I don't feel like I have to live up to anybody else's expectations or worry about what they think or feel. A journal of sorts where I can vent or babble or simply jot down random thoughts. I have a hard time sticking with things that I start. I don't know if it's because of a lack of commitment or if I just have "ooh shiny" moments but I do know that I'm tired of always feeling lost or incomplete. I was talking to my Aunt today who is also a blogger, and my inspiration for ever attempting any blogs and we were discussing each of our writing needs. We were trying to figure out a name for this new blog, something that described who I am. Outside of being a mother and homemaker I couldn't come up with a single thing. Hence the title Drowning in kids...